Thursday, April 12, 2012

Green Juice: When Leprechauns Poop in a Glass


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I rarely buy into hype.  I’m not sure when exactly I developed this mindset, but I am inclined to blame it on the demise of beanie babies.

The DIY wellness retreat, however, is all about hype.

Obviously, Lani and I are just testing these trends, not to see if they will be life changing the one time we try them, but to determine whether there is any merit to the hype that precedes a trend, and, if so, possibly incorporate it into our normal routines.

So far we have successfully completed artsy wellness and boot camp days, and will commence spa day as soon as I finish writing, but more on that later.

Right now there is a more pressing issue that needs to be discussed, and that is the matter of the elusive “green juice.”

Below is the video evidence that highlights our efforts to ingest the green juice.  (Spoiler alert: in the battle of Lauren vs. Hype, I take this round, hands down.)  Sincere apologies for our appearance – we shot this video following a morning jog, a circuit workout, and a barefoot beach jog, and opted for authenticity over vanity. Also, disclaimer, please pardon the language midway through the video, it couldn’t be helped.




Our green juice concoction was comprised of apples, pears, celery, wheat grass, kale, and cucumber. I assure you I tasted neither apple nor pear.

As I mentioned on Twitter, green juice is by far one of the worst things I have ever tried to force myself to drink, second only to the jug of hell I was prescribed before a colonoscopy.

Sure I’ve heard the health benefits argument used to promote the consumption of green juice.

To that I say, good riddance!

Cut up some apples and pears, put them in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix up a salad with some celery, cucumber, and maybe even kale and wheat grass, and throw on a light, natural dressing. Voila! a palatable alternative to green juice.

Healthy living shouldn’t make you miserable. Maybe that’s why we have such an obesity problem, because trends like green juice are being shoved down our throats, when really, a balanced diet and exercise is all we really need.

It seems like every week some medical health professional is announcing new health benefits discovered in foods we eat every day.

The way I see it, who needs green juice when you can end the night with some heart-healthy red wine and dark chocolate?

In fact, I think I just decided how I’m going to conclude spa day.


(For Lani's take on the green juice and her hatred of celery, here's her post, http://disasterwithapassport.blogspot.com/2012/04/green-juice-or-when-leprechauns-poop-in.html)

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